As this question cannot be answered in a simple statement, or a one-part straightforward explanation, we continue with this question – “Who am I?”
The world exists in duality – masculine and feminine, right or wrong, good or bad, north and south, warm and cold, yin and yang. And we all have both of these qualities within us as well. These energies have nothing to do with gender. In fact, gender is part of who you are not when we are talking about your true essence. Society has perpetuated the separation of masculine and feminine very well. You have been taught that you are either male or female based on your sexual organs. In reality we are all both.
Women have been piloted by the masculine energy within, and the feminine has only been reinforced by emotions, mothering, and empathy. But this is a small portion of the feminine qualities we possess. Many of us have suppressed our feminine qualities of inner knowing, intuition, our ability to see what is unseen, to receive, and to create through passive faith and trust in those abilities.
As a society we have lost our spontaneity to rigid planning, organization and routine. We are taught to give and give and give. This has been done robotically for forever, and so we forget how to receive in many ways: how to receive guidance from our higher selves, from a power greater than us, how to receive help from others, or love in some cases. Our connection to these powers has been forgotten. We operate through our five senses, and do not cultivate our sixth sense. We all have it and it is intended to be used.
Men have been punished for showing their feminine side – for being emotional. A crying man is seen as vulnerable and weak. The masculine is so dominant in our society that all of us have been taught to give more than we receive. To do everything and to keep going and going – burning the candle at both ends. We become exhausted with our to-do list. Part of what we need to understand is that we only actually put 50% of the work into what we want. The other 50% is believing in yourself and your dream, trusting in what you have done, and trusting that it will come without any doubts. You can’t do 100% of the work. This is not balance. Balance is 50-50. 50% is physical work, 50% is spiritual work.
The masculine exhibits itself through the mind. It is the doer, the energy that helps us get things done, to be busy, to build, to destroy, and to create through physical means and effort. The Masculine qualities are willpower, clarity and focus. They are stable and predictable energies – ones we can physically measure, see and feel. When we make decisions through our masculine lens, and with its power, we follow the rules, cultivate passion and use logic and knowledge to come to a conclusion. Working towards a goal, making progress, and getting things done are working with masculine energy. It is clear, direct and tends to be rigid in nature. It is represented by the fire of the Sun.
Feminine energy presents as compassion, receiving, inner knowing, intuition, creativity, spontaneity, feelings and emotions, balance, and connection. These are things we cannot physically measure or see. We feel them. When we are connected to the feminine, we are going with the flow of life. We are in our medicine river letting life take us where we need to go and trusting it 100%, because we have done our part. Our feminine energy embraces creativity and loves to play, dance, and self-express. It is associated with flexibility, rest, and letting go. It is often seen as unreliable, and makes us feel like we aren’t in control, and so it is not trusted. Feminine energy is represented by the Moon.
We can see where the masculine is dominant in our society. We work too much and take little time to rest and rejuvenate or to make deep connections in our lives with people, circumstances or nature. It is focused on man-made things as opposed to the natural world. We have never before been so disconnected from our own planet. Never before have we been so disconnected from each other, and within ourselves. We protest when we feel there has been wrong-doing. Action is taken in our outside world because that seems like the logical thing to do. That’s the masculine take over. We cannot change things by focusing on the outside world alone.
We can try and decide to do things differently, but if we don’t change things within ourselves first, the outward action still comes to the table presenting the same problem. You cannot come at a situation over and over again the same way and expecting it to be different. That’s the definition of insanity. We must approach the situation with a different lens – we must see it differently if we expect it to change. And to see it differently we must change something within ourselves to allow our perception to change. We must do the inner work to see the results in the outer world. It’s a microcosm/macrocosm thing. What is within – is without. If we want to fix the problems of the world, we must go within. We must change the energies within us to show up in balance. What are our outer circumstances trying to teach us?
Coming Into Balance
Who am I? You are balance. You are masculine and feminine, we have just been focusing far too much on the masculine energy, and not enough on the feminine. We need to even out the energies and bring them into harmony with each other so that we can operate as one. To cultivate feminine energies there are a few things we can do that will help us balance out the scales within ourselves and in our outer reality.
Trust Your Intuition – And Put It To Use
Who am I is intuition. We can practice trusting our intuition. It’s like we need to learn this skill over again, because we have been taught to doubt it. Trusting your gut instinct requires you to trust yourself. Trusting yourself requires a deep commitment to discovering who you truly are, and what it is your soul is trying to express. Trusting in your intuition begins with practice. The next time you are faced with a decision, instead of making it in that moment from the point of view of logic and reason by thinking about it, take some time to feel into your body and feel the answer that is right for you. Test out some answers to see how your body responds. It if’s a good decision for your greater good you could feel light and at ease, feel excited, you might smile, or you may feel a pleasant sensation. If it is not a good decision, you may feel tightness, you might hold your breath, or you may feel pain or other unpleasant sensations. Everyone’s body will speak to them differently, so it is important to discover how your own body responds – because it will be different for everyone. We are talking about paying attention to the sensations and feeling in your body – we are not paying any attention to your logical mind. We are feeling into it not thinking about it.
There are many other ways to cultivate your intuition. Another way is to learn to recognize when and how your intuition speaks to you. It’s a subtle voice, that can speak to us in several ways. It can come as a hunch or a gut feeling, a thought or in words. We must practice learning to listen to the voices in our head and to know when it’s the ego talking and when it’s your higher self. It may come as sensations in the body, as indicated above, or a taste in your mouth. Sometimes it is a deep sense of knowing – like you know you know, but you don’t know how you know. You could also receive messages through images, whether in dreams or in waking life. You may see visions or images flash through your mind – this is also your intuition speaking.
We can cultivate our intuition through meditation, which helps us to slow down and pay attention to how our intuition is speaking to us, and for those messages to come through. Often, we are so busy that we can’t hear them. This is a practice of dedicating some time each day to listen to your intuition.
Listening to our intuition involves trusting ourselves. Trust the messages. Follow through, and see where it leads you. Never question your inner voice. Once you have identified it as separate from the ego, which is the voice of the mind, then trust your messages and follow through.
Acknowledging Our Emotions
Who am I is emotional. We can practice cultivating our feminine side by acknowledging our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them. Society has taught us that emotions are a sign of weakness and so we have developed the ability to hide them, even from ourselves. This is not healthy in any way, shape or form. When we hide our emotions and we don’t allow them to express, we hold that energy within our bodies. It stores someplace within, building up and building up, eventually causing physical unrest, physical symptoms, injury, or manifestation of situations that present that emotion to you, over and over again, until you process it. When we hold onto our emotions, we hold onto energy that cannot flow out of us. And this builds up pressure within the body. Our body is our greatest guide. Your body is speaking to you everyday. We just need to relearn how to listen to it and what to do about the information it is giving us. And that requires slowing down, being aware that it is there, and taking the time for it.
Acceptance and Compassion
Who am I is compassionate and accepting. We can practice acceptance of ourselves just as we are. Look in the mirror and say, “I am beautiful, I am powerful, I create my life.” We can accept others, without judgment, for who they are and the reality they have created. When we do this we also cultivate compassion. We can start to see another’s journey, and what they must be going through or have gone through to be in the situation they are in. The mistake we sometimes make however, is we see people that exude such beautiful vibes and we assume their life has been easy, and they have not struggled to get where they are. So never assume anything. Chances are, those high vibers have worked so hard to get to a place of peace within themselves, and may have struggled in some of the same ways that a homeless person on the street may have struggled. In fact, they may have once been that person.
Every time you catch yourself in judgment, change your narrative. Where is it coming from? Why do I hold this belief? Why is this triggering me? When we can see others, accept them, and acknowledge that we are all human, as opposed to feeding the narrative of duality and separation, we are cultivating feminine energy.
Connecting With Mother Earth
The feminine energy belongs to Mother Earth – so our connection with the Earth is an important feminine energy to work with. We can cultivate our feminine energy by connecting with nature and all living things around us. Go outside, put your bare feet on the earth, sit and be still and quiet: absorb the grounding energy she gives off. Be in nature – go hiking and find your special place. Visit it often, and take note of the changes the seasons bring to that place.
Plant a garden and watch it grow. A garden has so many gifts to give beyond food or flowers. Seeing those gifts happens only as we partake in the tending of a garden. Take time to listen to the plants and to talk to them, they too have messages for you. If you don’t have room for a garden, get some house plants, or start a small container garden on your patio.
As a society we have never before been so disconnected from Mother Earth. We need to cultivate that connection and it’s sacredness once again and understand the web of life and all it’s connections. We need to focus on protecting and respecting the plants and animals, the rock beings and the crystal people, and practicing reciprocity – giving back for what we take, and expressing gratitude for all the She gives to us. Everything we have has come from the Earth, we would not exist if it weren’t for that.
We can practice receiving. We work so much, and give to others so much of ourselves, that we give up our own needs for the needs of others. Sometimes, when we are paid a compliment, we have difficulty accepting it. It feels uncomfortable. We refuse help from others, insisting we can do it ourselves. The whole expression, “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” has perpetuated our problem. In this instance, what does right mean? Right according to who? Done right is dependent on perspective of what and whom defines the word right. Practice receiving help.
We can practice receiving guidance from our higher selves. We can reconnect to that voice within that we may have been ignoring for a long long time. Or if we can already hear it, we can practice making a conscious effort to listen to this voice more and more.
Who am I is love. Receiving for yourself – self-love. Receive love: from your children, your pets, your family, your spouse or significant other. Take time for yourself and give yourself some much needed love – in whatever way seems right for you. This is another subject that has been beaten to death lately, but for good reason. You cannot truly love another until you love yourself first.
When we can love ourselves it is not the kind of love that is out there in the collective consciousness – love with conditions – in fact, it is the polar opposite of that. Instead of being, “I will love you when….you lose 10- pounds, when you help out around the house, or when you stop smoking, or whatever condition it is”. When you love yourself it must be unconditional. That means that you love yourself now, just the way you are, regardless of your flaws, your imperfections, your mistakes and your shadows. You see all of it and embrace it just as it is and deal with it one step at a time with love and compassion for yourself and your own journey. You look in the mirror and say, “I love you just the way your are.” You accept your own body, and your own journey, and have compassion for the decisions and mistakes you made when you didn’t have the awareness you have now. We have compassion for ourselves.
When we can learn to love ourselves this way, then we can love another unconditionally, and boy does that change the energy of love in this world in profound ways. Unconditional love is real love. It is what the energy of love is all about and what is was intended to be. It presents no duality. It is balanced. It is harmony. It is acceptance. It has no conditions. And it follows no rules.
Be spontaneous every now and then – or how about somewhat regularily. Do something that scares you, something that is exciting, that you don’t do often or have ever done. Mix up your daily routine. We all get stuck in our routines, and this can bore us to death and keep energy stuck! Interrupt the robotic repetitiveness of your life, and mix it up a bit. This can help us to be able to start seeing things differently as well, because we are changing what we normally do, we can change how we see things. Some great AHA moments can come from doing this.
Having said all this, in cultivating our feminine energies, we also need to balance the masculine, so by no means am I saying throw all your routines our the window, stop going to work, stop making goals and having dreams and working toward them. We need our masculine qualities just as much as the feminine ones – we are just seeking balance here. Think 50-50. 50% of the time, use your masculine qualities, and the other 50% feminine. The key is becoming aware of it. Once we become aware of something it loses it power over us.
Who am I? Who you are is vast, and much, much bigger than you could have ever imagined. Duality is a construct of our reality. We are balanced, we are whole, we are both masculine and feminine in our own bodies – it is just how we are designed as humans.
We are one. We are yin and we are yang. The more we practice and embody both, with great acceptance for our own process, and the process of others, we return to balance. If we are balanced within, we can become balanced in our outer reality just the same. In doing so, we change the world. We create balance, equality, harmony, and peace.
Stay tuned for part three of this series.