Is it possible?
Is it possible to live a life full of joy in every moment no matter what gets thrown at you in life? Is it possible to find joy in it all? And if it is, how do we achieve this?
Joy in every moment means you need to be fully living in the present moment to begin with. We can’t be off in our heads, thinking, over-thinking, and thinking some more in every moment – so much that we get to our destination and we can’t remember how we got there. While you are driving you are driving, while you are talking to someone you are talking and actively listening to their every word, even when you are doing laundry you are doing laundry. You are not thinking about what the next thing to do is. You are not making your grocery list in your head, you’re not asking yourself what if and pondering your big decisions in life, and you are absolutely not anywhere else than where you are in the physical world right now. You’re not dreaming of your vacation – although you can have time to dedicate yourself to doing just that – and you should – you aren’t doing it while doing something else.
Presence for us humans now is a difficult thing to do for most people. We are so used to multi-tasking, going places and doing ten things at once, that we have forgotten how to slow down and just be where we are. It has been so long gone that being where we are is not a natural state of being anymore.
When did we lose this ability? When did we make multi-tasking a super power? Why? Right now is all there is. There is no past and there is no future. You create the future by being present in the moment. And there is no amount of presence or multi-tasking that can change the past. You can then actually chose what you create, rather than being driven by the chaos in our lives and feeling like a servant to it.
How do we unlearn our super powers? The ones we wish to shed that are no longer serving our highest good and the highest good of humanity any longer?
All I can offer you is my experience, and it has been a long journey that has led me to these conclusions. It is my hope that there is something here that will help you find your joy in every moment, and to embrace life as it comes each and every day with a smile on your face and love in your heart.
1. Do one thing at a time – no exceptions. Practice makes perfect. You won’t get it right for a while. You have been trained to multi-task. You have to un-train yourself from that. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Celebrate your wins.
2. Bring rituals back into your daily life. Small things that make you feel good like sitting down in the morning and actually taking the time to enjoy your cup of coffee or tea before it gets cold and you have to reheat it. Just drink it all while it’s still hot and enjoy the moment and the stillness. Or take your shower every morning, and make it a ritual of cleansing and renewal. Maybe you break out a journal and write in it each morning or every night before you go to bed. Making your daily activities a ritual just means that your are conscious and present in what you are doing at that very moment.
3. Slow down. Consciously slow down. Stop walking so fast. Act as if every step is a prayer to Mother Earth. Are your steps harsh and forceful? Quick and light? Slow and steady? The Earth feels your energy as you walk upon Her – send her conscious steps. Stop and smell the roses. Stop letting things pass you by. Take the time to appreciate the little things like the smell of the rain, the sound of the waves on the beach, the wind through the trees or the bird songs.
4. Practice conscious breath. Conscious breathing brings presence and acknowledgement back to our breath – I mean – the fact that we actually do it. Our bodies breathe without us having to be consciously aware to breathe. It’s amazing. But we take it for granted. Conscious breath resets the vagus nerve which is part of our parasympathetic nervous system which is sometimes called the rest and digest system. It is one division of the autonomic nervous system which takes care of the things our body does automatically. The vagus nerve is responsible for the regulation of internal organ functions, such as digestion, heart rate and respiratory rate. Giving the vagus nerve a reset, slows the body down and it resets itself back to homeostasis – back to a proper rate of digestion, breathing and heart rate. It literally helps our entire body calm down and it stops feeling tension and stress.
5. Stop making yourself so busy and filling up your calendar with events, extra curricular activities and obligations and responsibilities. Set boundaries and stick to them. Which brings us to #6.
6. Stop saying “Yes” when you really mean “No”. Stop doing things that drain your energy. Stop doing things just because you will feel guilty if you don’t and only do things that make you feel good and light up your soul. If it doesn’t light you up – ditch it! Stop trying to please everyone else and look at how to please yourself and what makes you happy. You are the only one that can do that for yourself. Happiness lies within.
7. Practice deep self love. Be true to yourself and what you want and need. You are not here to fulfill the needs of others. Nor are you responsible for their happiness. When you truly love and respect yourself, you fill your own needs and what other people bring to your life is just sprinkles and cherries on top of your sundae.
8. Find what makes you happy. Only you can make you happy. And you can only do that through enough self love that you understand your power. Your power to create everything you want in your life. Your power to make yourself happy. It doesn’t come from outside of you. Everything you need is already within you. What you desire in your heart is your happiness.
9. Gratitude. What you focus on expands. Practice gratitude every day to bring more things to be grateful for into your life.
10. And finally – but most importantly. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the things you feel guilty for, for all the things you blame yourself for, and for any shame you feel for anything you have done or not done. You are only capable of acting, being, and doing from the state of consciousness that you are in at that very moment. When we forgive ourselves for all of the wrong doings in our lives, we become free of our own chains. And, of course, once you have forgiven yourself, you need to forgive the other person. Forgiveness is the key to freedom. Forgiving someone else for hurting you is not an easy thing to do, nor is it a quick fix. Forgiveness takes time, patience and determination. Forgiveness asks us to look beyond the hurt, the anger, and the resentment – for freedom. It doesn’t erase the past, and it doesn’t mean that you will forget either. It means we are releasing chains that keep us bound to unhealthy feelings and emotions that perpetuate the very things in our lives we need to let go of in order to be free and experience true joy in our lives. There is a sense of relief that comes with forgiveness. We feel lighter and experience more compassion for ourselves and others.
None of this is selfishness. When we fill our own cup we have more to give to others. When we run on a empty cup, everything and everyone around us suffers. When we go out into the world, experiencing the joy in each moment every day – we are sending out powerful energy. We radiate love, compassion and understanding. We have patience, we smile at strangers, we are more helpful, and gracious. Others can feel the light within us and we become a beacon of light for others.
Finding joy in every moment feels like every day is a gift. And each new day offers you something that the previous one didn’t or couldn’t because you can’t re-experience the same present moment twice. Nor can you live a day again and do things differently. In the moment you choose. And that choice affects whether or not you find joy in that moment or whether or not you can even see it. It also affects your ability to be strong and confident in your decisions so that we don’t have to go back to that place and rethink the event wishing we did things differently.
Joy in every moment comes when we understand our connection to all things. The interconnectedness of life, synchronicity, signs and symbols in our lives that could never be coincidences. When we understand that everything happens for a reason and that there are no coincidences – we can clearly see our path in life unfold before our eyes. And we create that for ourselves.
Are you creating joy in every moment? Or are you waiting for those milestones in life – finding your true love, getting married, having children, going on a vacation once a year. Are you living for those moments? Working towards those moments when everything is joyful? Having something to look forward to. Those things that make life worth living?
If you are – you aren’t living in the present moment. And your joy exists somewhere outside of yourself. It will always exist somewhere in the future – which doesn’t ever really exist.
You know what makes life worth living? Finding joy in every moment. Finding it every day and knowing that it is a part of you because you are creating it. There is a beautiful message in that. You are choosing joy in each moment with each decision you make.